Leading isn't leading - it's an invitation

I was at a social last month when a leader pulled me into a move I wasn't ready for. My body resisted. Not because I didn't understand what he wanted - but because I didn't have the foundation to execute it safely.

His response?

"Just follow."

Those two words carry so much weight. They sound helpful, encouraging even. But what come across is something along the lines of: "Stop thinking. Stop choosing. Just do what I want."

And that's not how Brazilian Zouk works.

The canvas and the painter

Here's what most leaders don't understand: following isn't passive reception. It's active interpretation.

When a leader initiates a move, they're drawing the outline of a canvas. But the follow? The follow gets to choose how to fill it in. What colors to use. How much energy to bring. Whether to soften into it or power through it. Whether to execute it at all.

This is the autonomy every follow has - and should have - in every single dance.

When a leader says "just follow," what they're really saying is: "I don't know how to create a clear invitation. I don't know how to build the conversation that makes this move possible. So I'm going to put all the responsibility on you for my inability to lead it well."

Because leading isn't leading. It's initiating. It's inviting. It's creating the conditions for dialogue, not delivering a monologue.

What leaders miss about technique

The eight fundamental patterns of Brazilian Zouk exist for a reason. They're not arbitrary steps we make beginners learn before they get to the "fun stuff."

They're the foundation that allows a follow to safely throw their head around, to surrender into a cambre, to execute the complex body movements that make Zouk so beautiful.

Without that foundation? A head movement isn't expression - it's risk. A cambre isn't connection - it's compromise. 

This is why investing in your basic structures and patterns matters so much. Not because you need to earn the right to dance socially. But because technique builds the self-confidence that allows you to choose. When you know your fundamentals are solid, you can interpret invitations with freedom. You can say yes with your whole body. You can say no without second-guessing yourself.

Your technical foundation isn't just about executing moves, but about owning your autonomy on the dance floor.

Rough leading - the kind that physically or energetically pushes a follow into a movement they're not comfortable with - doesn't just feel bad. It breaks trust. It makes the follow responsible for the leader's lack of clarity.

And when a follow chooses not to execute a move? When they decide that invitation isn't safe or isn't right for their body in that moment? That's not failure, but power.

I've watched leaders panic when I don't do the move they initiated. Their whole body tenses. They try to force it. They get scared because they've lost control of the narrative they thought they were writing. The occasional “what are you doing?!” is not so occasional anymore since I learned how to say “no” in my dance without having to speak.

But a leader never has full control. That was never for the leaders to have.

What to say when someone tells you to "just follow"

If a leader says "just follow" to you, here's what you can say back:

"I have the freedom to fill out the canvas you draw. It's up to me completely how I fill in the move you initiate."

You don't owe anyone your execution. You don't owe anyone your surrender. You don't owe anyone a move your body isn't ready for or doesn't want to do. As long as you keep your (basic) structures and patterns, you’re completely fine on the dance floor. 

What you're doing when you choose - when you decline an invitation, when you soften it, when you reinterpret it - isn't "not following." It's dancing.

The invitation model

The best leaders I've danced with don't lead. They invite. They create clear, specific, respectful initiations that leave room for my interpretation. They build the conditions for dialogue. They stay present when I choose something different than what they expected. And in doing so, they stay soft. 

They understand that the dance isn't about them getting what they want from my body. It's about what we create together.

And when that happens? When the invitation is clear and the follower has the foundation and the autonomy to choose how to respond?

That's when the Brazilian fire actually ignites 🔥

Not when someone tells you to "just follow." But when both dancers show up as equals, as artists, as humans who respect each other's autonomy and skill.

That's the dance we're building at Utrecht Zouk. Where technique meets consent. Where leading is inviting. Where following is choosing.

Where the conversation matters more than the monologue.

See you on the dance floor, 

Cynthia

P.S. If you've experienced this - the "just follow" moment that didn't sit right - I want you to know: your instinct was correct. Trust it. Your autonomy in dance is non-negotiable.